So I decided to back off and give Foxie and Jonny their space. Was I selling myself short? Should I have asked for more inclusion because I was interested in Jonny as well? Coulda. Shoulda. Woulda. It's not that important anymore. I made choices and am ultimately happy with the result.
There were some times that I felt specifically excluded, but they were honestly few. There are times that I feel a distance growing between Foxie and I. We talk those through and continue talking through them. Everything in any relationship is easier with communication.
Eventually, Jonny (Mr "I don't say the 'L' word") discovered and revealed the depth of his feelings. The circumstances weren't the best and it was very hard on him. It was hard on Foxie as well. There was a potential new beau, and Jonny became very jealous. Maybe clearer communication sooner in the new friendship would have helped (probably on all sides.) This is a common issue in any relationship that is only magnified with poly.
Clear Constant Honest Communication is the solution. When I say clear, it means be open and frank about your feelings and behaviors. When I say constant that means literally all the time. (In the age of cell phones, text message and internet there are a lot fewer excuses to be slow in your communication.) Honest communication is also a must. As with being clear you must be true and not let what you think someone's reaction might be give you an excuse to withhold, deny, or deflect.
The situation may not have been directly about me, my behaviors, choices or emotions. The situation did affect me, however. It's about family, and what affects any one member of that family affects every member in some way. If you are poly your emotional and relational issues don't exist in an insular vacuum. How much it affects the rest of the family is very subjective, but there is always an effect of some sort.
And speaking of which, we are finally current. A good situation occurred right on the heels of that event that did/does affect me directly. Next post, though. It's really late. *yawn*
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