So now we are to the time when I learned the most about being poly, even though I wasn't a main part of any poly family. Yes, if you are single you can still be poly; just like if you aren't having sex with another male, you can still be gay. I did live in the house with a poly family for several years, and my sex life was off again (for a few weeks) then on again (with gusto.) I learned a lot from observation and being very close friends with them all.
In my group of friends, there were several poly families with varying sorts of poly geometry. There were also several poly experiments that didn't end in building a family. I was studying for initiation into a neo-pagan tradition and peer/lay counseling skills were an integral part of that study. I learned so much about myself, relationships (from a theoretical perspective), and also poly. When over half of the members of the tradition are poly, you need to understand the dynamics. (and keep a scorecard - jk)
I had some very close friendships during that decade, and most of those people relied on me for some sort of counseling at some point. I had/have a talent for getting people to express their feelings, sometimes by telling them what they seem to be feeling and letting them correct me. If it gets the job done, who cares how? Some of those needed more than a peer and I gently encouraged them to seek a professional. Part of that training was in understanding what's out-of-scope.
So there's an overview of my background in poly. (Mostly) Only a couple more chapters to get to the present.
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