When one is in a shared house, there may be more opportunities for interpersonal conflicts. This is just a part of human interaction. When these situations arise, I find that afterward it takes time to feel comfortable around the person I recently had a conflict with. It doesn't matter how it's resolved, who apologizes for what, how each person owns their part in the situation, or any of the rest; I still feel uncomfortable.
Feeling uncomfortable in my home isn't something that I seek out, for certain.
So what happens when there is conflict, I feel uncomfortable and let a distance grow and there's another conflict before the discomfort from the initial clash has dissipated? The gap grows wider of course. It compounds with every situation, and with every reminder of the situations. How wide can the gap get before it's just impossible to be in the same room with another person? I don't think it can be quantified but there is a point at which this happens.
The solve for this? Put up with the discomfort in small doses until you establish enough positive feeling that you can relate to that person normally again.
The closer you are to begin with the harder it is for a major gap to form. When it's a relationship that's "once removed" (my lover's other lover) or "twice removed" (my lover's other lover's lover) there's a lot less intimacy from the outset of any conflict. There's already some distance, so the gap can be widened easier until there's nothing left of friendship or companionable feeling.
It's a conundrum that I don't have very many answers for. I know that if it's making me have either anxiety or nausea when I am around someone I simply don't want to be there. It shows and it makes interaction really difficult. Something must change to adjust the overall feelings, but what that change is, I'm not sure. I'm fairly certain that it's different each time.
Playing it by ear and hoping I'm not tone-deaf this month.
A couple of things I could suggest. Of course, aromatherapy, music, meditation and so forth. You know all of these but sometimes hearing it from someone else makes you go, "I know. I know. But to do that I have to have the energy to do it!" But sometimes that helps. Talking it over with the person the conflict was with or with a neutral party in a neutral place can sometimes make the feeling go away sooner.
ReplyDeleteYou might want to do another house/space cleansing, maybe with the other household members. Even if you're already doing this on a regular basis, whenever there's been conflict or other negative energy it's a good idea to clean out the house spiritually.
I have faith in you. Hugs, spoons, energy & purrs from the cats. Take care of you!